You know, I’d be more upset about the sheer volume people I know who have recently gotten engaged if it weren’t for the fact that I was socialized almost exclusively by the Los Angeles Bar & Bat Mitzvah circuit, which has prepped me with all of the necessary (and otherwise useless) skills: translating dress codes into dresses, making conversation with a tableful of strangers, flirting with their friends who didn’t go to your school, dancing in front of people’s grandparents, caging two drinks at a time from bartenders, one of them “for my dad.”